2022-2023 editing
As Sports and Features Writing Editor my junior year, it was my job to edit all stories until we moved them to copy/final. I would first start with my section and then switch sections with my co-editor so we both could see all stories. I did this for the eight issues we published from the 2022-2023 school year. I've included a few stories from each section that I edited.
Each section includes the rough, edits, and then the final printed version of the story.
Feature Editing
The girl behind the image
This was the rough that was turned in for me to edit. Since this was a feature story, I made the first round of edits before my co-editor saw it. The story was good, however many sentences needed to be restructured and moved around.
The green represents the edits that were made to the story. Simple grammar edits were made such as capitalization, but the main edits were rewording sentences to make them stronger. The third paragraph was the first edit made, where I rewrote the sentence to flow better with the rest of the story. The fifth paragraph introduced her mom, but the sentence was too wordy. By cutting the words down, the sentence is able to get to the point, and then re-mention the idea of "the dream" from before. The rest of the edits were just rewording sentences in order to flow with the story and lead into the quotes, so the quotes could tell the story.
This is the final version of the story on the page. While going through multiples rounds of edits, some of the initial edits I made were also reworded. In the third paragraph, it was changed to focus more on how she feels about modeling, to help set up the quote better. In the ninth paragraph, Patrick Coxs name was added into the sentences to introduce him before his quotes rather than him being brought up in the moms quote. The quote talking about the Miss Congeniality award was broken up to help the reader read it, since its was a long, but important quote.
Sports Editing
Unhindered performance
This is the rough that was turned in for me to edit. This story behind this track runner is amazing, however the story needed some rewording, reorganization and a third interview.
The first edit I made to this story was the lead. While the original lead was good, it needed to be condensed and set the scene for a track meet. We kept the idea of starting the race, making it seem like she was running normally, and then transitioning to how she was racing while being blind. Next, many unnecessary quotes were deleted, as they didn't go with her preserving being a blind athlete. By deleting the beginning quotes, the writer is able to introduce why she loves running, then into how she became blind, and lastly the challenges she has experienced.
This is the final printed version of the story. After Vitou's interview, the writer transitioned into the head track coaches interview, in order to get the perspective from her coach. More from his interview was added, along with a third interview with a coach who personally trains her at practices. The quotes I suggested to be deleted were deleted, and the new lead was added as well.
*This story placed first at 2023 NSPA for sports story.
Entertainment editing
A double order of disrespect
This was the rough that was turned in to my co-editor and I. This story was missing a lead, and needed to be extended as well in order to fit the page. The story also didn't feel like it flowed, so my co-editor and I both helped to reword and restructure the story.
One of the biggest edits made was rearranging the story. We moved the second interview to be first, as it could create a better lead to hook the readers. More was added from her interview as well, focusing her experience working in the food and beverage industry. The last quote is able to show how she is treated, along with how she feels when she receives comments like that.
Next, the original first interview was put second, and more was added in order to keep the theme of how teenagers are treated in the food and beverage industry. The fifth and sixth paragraphs, help add to Gulbronsons personal experience and helps with the needed length for the story.
This is the final version of the story. This story went through many rounds of edits in order to restructure and reorganize it. The lead of the story was changed in order to grab the readers attention and then go into the experience of working in food industry. Rather than ending with Renes quotes, the writer circled back to one of the girls, in order to end the story talking about her personal experience and advice.
News editing
Need and passion
This was the rough that was turned in. This story was extremely informative and well written, but needed a new lead to introduce the idea of teacher shortages better.
The biggest edit to this story was the lead. The first lead was good, however it didn't really flow with the teacher shortage idea, which is what the story was about. I also didn't want the story to open with COVID, especially since that has been covered for so long. This lead was able to introduce the broad topic of teachers, and then get right into the shortage, which was affecting the state. Other edits were made, however, they focused on grammar, spelling, and capitalization.
This is the final story that was printed. The new lead is written, plus the grammatical edits that were made early. The interviews and transitions were strong, so very little was changed for those.